I was a New York kind of girl and had a New York state of mind (thanks to Billy Joel) for over twenty years. Unfortunately, the bright lights of the big city became too bright and too big to continue living there. Even though my entire transgender community was in and around the Big Apple, my girlfriend and I had to leave for a warmer and less expensive latitude.
Why do crossdressing men seek out other crossdressing men? Partners, please understand that if your crossdressing partner has enough confidence and courage to step outside the closest and venture outside the home, they may want to seek out others like them. The desire to find acceptance in any social setting is an inherent human trait, not just relegated to crossdressing men.
What drives people to fear the crossdressing male? Are people so ingrained with the indoctrination of their faith, their upbringing, or generally accepted social constructs, that they forget about how their faith tells them to love each other, their upbringing tells them to be kind and good people, and the idea of society is to be social and accepting in order to build a better community?
My girlfriend fears two things about my expressing that I would want to have this photo shoot. The first is that, as I stated earlier, the role of the bride is a female privilege. Girls grow into women who become brides. It is a rite of passage in a woman’s life. What right does a man have to so eagerly and easily covet the role for themselves? If any man can put on a wedding dress, does it tarnish what it means to be a bride in the first place?
Love strikes at the most inopportune moments in life, taking you in directions you haven’t anticipated you would ever set foot on again. Love gives us acceptance by our partner as the person we truly are. Love wants us to be better for the other person, making them feel safe, wanted, important, and, above all else, loved. Hold the people that you care for in high regard, loving them unconditionally no matter what come.
It is appalling that so many men in popular or powerful positions do not (or did not) see their aggressive, unwarranted actions toward women and transgender women as inappropriate.
What follows is the speech I wrote and used to address a gathering of supportive men and women for the Long Island Transgender Day of Remembrance at the Sayville Congregational United Church of Christ held on November 19th, 2017
The following anecdote I am going to share is something that has me somewhat puzzled, and serves to better illustrate the sometimes chaotic mindset of the crossdressing male. I consider myself a proud crossdresser, but I was surprised by my reactions.
Many have designated Halloween as that one American holiday where closeted male to female crossdressers get enough courage to venture out of the house dressed as a girl.
I was asked recently by a wife of a crossdresser how I came to understand that I was a crossdresser. I was asked if it was “who I was” or “what I do”? My initial answer was to say that crossdressing is an inherent part of me and it is who I am! But upon closer inspection, I could see that that the question was a wonderful exercise to think through.