For trying to help him in his own trans journey, I am happy to be of assistance and give details of myself. What I will not do, however, is answer questions like, “Do you wear g-strings” or “Do you have sex with your girlfriend”.
Many have designated Halloween as that one American holiday where closeted male to female crossdressers get enough courage to venture out of the house dressed as a girl.
As human beings, we have an instinctual need to feel accepted. Sure, we can dress up to our hearts content behind locked doors and drawn curtains. But parading around in the home without any greater acceptance of who we are beyond ourselves is, in itself, an isolated and lonely affair.
A crossdressing man told his wife recently that he didn’t feel any different when he dressed as a man than when he dressed as a woman. The wife scoffed and replied that she could see, absolutely, the changes that overcame him when he dressed in feminine clothing. A shift of perspective is a common occurrence for crossdressing men. In fact, I’ve faced similar questions from my own girlfriend.
I was probably the only crossdresser there that night, but that didn’t stop me from sliding out to the dance floor when it was still empty.
If all of us are dressed the same as everyone else, will that extinguish our development for discovering what makes us unique? If the school uniform for boys and girls are specific, will a young boy who sees himself as a young girl be allowed to wear a blouse and skirt?
What’s in a name? It is the first piece of information we are given about a person before meeting them. Like seeing a person from across the room, a person’s name is the same as a person’s physical appearance. How they look carries a lot of weight in shaping another’s opinion of them. Most crossdressing men and women select a name for their alternative identities. A few do not. The more developed the persona, the more likely that masculine or feminine form will have an appropriate gender name attached to that form.
I was a New York kind of girl and had a New York state of mind (thanks to Billy Joel) for over twenty years. Unfortunately, the bright lights of the big city became too bright and too big to continue living there. Even though my entire transgender community was in and around the Big Apple, my girlfriend and I had to leave for a warmer and less expensive latitude.
Why do crossdressing men seek out other crossdressing men? Partners, please understand that if your crossdressing partner has enough confidence and courage to step outside the closest and venture outside the home, they may want to seek out others like them. The desire to find acceptance in any social setting is an inherent human trait, not just relegated to crossdressing men.
What drives people to fear the crossdressing male? Are people so ingrained with the indoctrination of their faith, their upbringing, or generally accepted social constructs, that they forget about how their faith tells them to love each other, their upbringing tells them to be kind and good people, and the idea of society is to be social and accepting in order to build a better community?