My girlfriend fears two things about my expressing that I would want to have this photo shoot. The first is that, as I stated earlier, the role of the bride is a female privilege. Girls grow into women who become brides. It is a rite of passage in a woman’s life. What right does a man have to so eagerly and easily covet the role for themselves? If any man can put on a wedding dress, does it tarnish what it means to be a bride in the first place?
Love strikes at the most inopportune moments in life, taking you in directions you haven’t anticipated you would ever set foot on again. Love gives us acceptance by our partner as the person we truly are. Love wants us to be better for the other person, making them feel safe, wanted, important, and, above all else, loved. Hold the people that you care for in high regard, loving them unconditionally no matter what come.
It is appalling that so many men in popular or powerful positions do not (or did not) see their aggressive, unwarranted actions toward women and transgender women as inappropriate.
What follows is the speech I wrote and used to address a gathering of supportive men and women for the Long Island Transgender Day of Remembrance at the Sayville Congregational United Church of Christ held on November 19th, 2017
The following anecdote I am going to share is something that has me somewhat puzzled, and serves to better illustrate the sometimes chaotic mindset of the crossdressing male. I consider myself a proud crossdresser, but I was surprised by my reactions.
Many have designated Halloween as that one American holiday where closeted male to female crossdressers get enough courage to venture out of the house dressed as a girl.
I was asked recently by a wife of a crossdresser how I came to understand that I was a crossdresser. I was asked if it was “who I was” or “what I do”? My initial answer was to say that crossdressing is an inherent part of me and it is who I am! But upon closer inspection, I could see that that the question was a wonderful exercise to think through.
In the last few weeks I have been in conversation with my partner and other couples who have been discussing fetishes and how it applies to the act (or art) of crossdressing. A fetish is a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.
A dear friend of mine, while reading Living with Crossdressing: Defining a New Normal, mentioned that she enjoyed one of the early chapters of the book that focused on the different types of crossdressers that I have come in contact with. She said that we need to find a better term to describe us. She was looking for a term that we, as a group, could be proud of. A descriptor that doesn’t drip with an air of stereotypes and taboos. A label that doesn’t strike discord in all who hear it uttered.
Sharing the total sum of who we are as a man and woman is an important exercise for many of us.