Hello, lovely folx from all walks of life. We are going to try something different. Introducing, the Fox and the Phoenix Podcast.
Instead of reading my own opinions, perspectives and musings about various topics of crossdressing life, I will be engaging in ongoing conversations with Julie Rubenstein, a certified image consultant and co-owner of Fox and Hanger, who caters to crossdressing and transgender women in the search for the perfect fashion looks that meet their expectations and styles.
Julie and I will be delving into and sharing our own personal battles and struggles, shared and unique experiences. All with the hopes that as we better understand how we each uniquely tick, we will discover we actually notice our rhythms are in sync. Join us to discover more about me and Julie–and, maybe, realize more about yourself. xoxo
Understanding the Feminine Crossdressing Experience – To de-mystify, humanize, and celebrate the crossdressing community, providing a positive and realistic understanding through conversation between a crossdresser and a cis-ally.
Learn the Fox and the Phoenix Podcast Girls
IG @savannahhauk | FB @savannahhauk | FB @livingwithcrossdressing
SAVANNAH HAUK is the author of “Living with Crossdressing: Defining a New Normal” and “Living with Crossdressing: Discovering your True Identity“. While both focus on the male-to-female (mtf) crossdresser, “Defining a New Normal” delves into crossdressing and relationships and “Discovering Your True Identity” looks at the individual crossdressing journey.
Savannah is a male-to-female dual-gender crossdresser who is visible in the Upstate of South Carolina, active in local groups and advocating as a public speaker at LGBTQ+ conferences and workshops across the United States. At the moment, Savannah is working on more books, blogs, and projects focused on letting every crossdresser–young and mature–find their own confidence, expression, identity and voice.
IG @mtfstyle | FB @foxandhanger | web @FoxandHanger.com
JULIE RUBENSTEIN is a dedicated ally to transgender community and the certified image consultant and co-owner of Fox and Hanger. F&H is a unique service for transgender women and male-to-female crossdressers that creates customized virtual fashion and style “lookbooks”. Julie intuitively connects with each client to find them appropriate clothes, makeup, hair, and shape wear all in alignment with their budget, body type, authentic style and unique personality. Julie also provides enfemme coaching and wardrobe support. Julie has made it her life’s work to help MTF individuals feel safe and confident when it comes to their female persona, expression and identity.
The Fox and the Phoenix podcast is now available on the following podcast streaming services:
Come find our podcast. Give us a follow, a like, or a star. Share it with your friends who you think would enjoy it. Leave us a comment and give us more to talk about!
Julie (and Savannah),
I am a (somewhat) regular listener and I wanted to let you know how touched I was by your recent episode 127 – A Tender Age.
In particular your comments in response to the email you received from a young person. The episode was quite moving to me, realizing once again that I grew up in a time when issues of gender fluidity and expression were never acknowledged, no less discussed. It has taken me over 50 years to come to terms with crossdressing and finally being confident (and brave enough) to come out to my wife about a year and half ago. Even though she was aware of it for years, I think she believed that if she did not think about it, then it didn’t exist.
Your point about parents needing to process grief over their child’s gender expression was so true. In therapy I have come to understand that my wife needs time to process her grief over “losing” the person she thought she knew, or perhaps wasn’t sure how to accept.
Again thanks you for your straightforwardness,
Steve M
Hi Savannah – hubby Penny and I have just listened to your 3 part podcasts with Judy and Julie for your 100th episodes – Penny listens to them all the time and I dip in and out when she feels it’s relevant.
Your story and journey just resonates so much with us and there are so many similarities it’s unreal …….. the biggest difference is while we are both in our early 50s Penny has only been around for 4yrs but we are celebrating out 30th wedding anniversary shortly and are very much embracing this journey together.
I understand EXACTLY where Judy is coming from on the lack of resources for supporting (or trying to be supporting) wives and the confusion that causes and listening to her was like listening to myself.
I found your book and bought it for myself initially to help my understanding, and quickly realised Penny would benefit as well, so we both read it at the same time on different devices and you have no idea the impact you have made on both of us, answered so many questions for both of us, and opened our eyes to yes this is OK and it’s OK to be OK so we both thank you for the bottom of our hearts.
And when are you coming to the UK??????
Episode 134 “A Significant Problem for Others” was timely but sadly unsatisfying. As an ENBY I have been progressing with my femme gender expression faster than my SO is comfortable with, despite her knowing about my strong feminine characteristics for the past 30+ years. We have been to two different marriage counselors (the most recent was selected because of his expertise with LGBTQ+ couples) and we are both seeing therapists individually. I am ‘out’ to my side of the family and to our grown children / their SOs, as well as to a few of our closest friends–who have showered me with love and understanding.
My wife has no intention or desire to reveal me to her side of the family, though at some point it is bound to happen organically.
She will tell you that she does not have the support she needs.
I will tell you that she quit couple’s therapy in part because the therapist was making her confront her reluctance to accept me as a trans person. I have grown out may hair, I dress however I want to at work, and I occasionally wear makeup in the office. She is adamant that I not get my ears pierced or begin HRT, because those things will force her into difficult conversations with her siblings.
She would love to join a support group, or even find just one person to talk to. The problem, as I see it, is that she wants to have someone tell her it is OK to reject me as trans, OK to be angry that I deceived her (her words) on the altar 33 years ago by not telling her that my cross-dressing was more than just for kicks and giggles, and that because of that I have no right to “rush her” into accepting me or supporting me. She seeks empathy from someone who may not care about my feelings / needs. At this point, she is standing alone against me and my “legion” of supporters… no one is judging her or dismissing her feelings, but there are still a lot of questions as to why my wife of 33 years does not love me, and insists that I go back into hiding and pretend to be the person she used to love.
That’s all. Just a different perspective, and one more layer of complication when seeking out a helpful support network.