Two Negatives Do Not Make a Positive
I received my first negative comment yesterday attached to the post of the announcement of the release of Living with Crossdressing: Defining a New Normal. This woman’s comment advised me that crossdressing was not normal, but a schizophrenia on par with pedophilia and the mind of rapists. That comparison was disappointing to read, but I was appreciative that we shared a brief correspondence, especially when she voiced that she felt that we are all entitled to live our lives. But in the end, her perspective cast us into the lot of the mentally ill, each of us denying that we suffer from a broken connection in the brain that probably can’t be fixed. While she sympathized with the concept of our plight, she determined that she didn’t have to accept any of us as normal.
For one, she absolutely has the right to her opinion of what she considers normal behavior. Society, religion, and personal upbringing in the United States has dictated for generations what is to be considered normal, acceptable, and in good and proper taste. And with every generation, the guidelines for what is considered normal have changed. There is nothing to say that the social norms of the day are not to be considered. In fact, I also do not consider myself normal. I understand full well that I don’t fit the mold of the average red-blooded American male. The only difference is that I chose to accept my feminine expressions as part of my own personal definition of normal.
I asked her if she had ever interacted or chose to engage with a crossdresser or a transgender individual to better understand them through their perspectives and opinions. She admitted that she had not, and would continue to choose NOT to engage with those she deemed mentally ill. Fair enough. Years ago, homosexuality (an example of sexual orientation, not gender identity) was considered the work of the devil, a mental illness, or a choice in favor of debauchery. That was the truth of that era, but not the common thinking of today. I would agree that the crossdresser’s brain is hardwired differently than that of the ‘normal’ man. I do not dispute that. But when does the idea of what is normal change in the eyes of the general public? Must we make up 51% of the population in order to be considered normal… or at the very least, the majority?
She made the argument that, “Trying to make yourself more comfortable and accepted by passing this off as normal will never be the truth.” That is a great point of debate. Am I delusional in the belief that I am just like everyone else? I know I am not like many, if not most, men. I think and act differently, with a more feminine slant. It has taken me years – because of society – to have the courage and confidence to accept who I am. My crossdressing is my own personal normal. I do not harm others or myself. I am a productive member of the workforce and the mainstream community. I can only hope to enlighten others about what they misconceive or misunderstand about our community. That is the truth as I understand it.
