Son, brother, father, lover, friend. There is room in the heart for all the affections, as there is room in heaven for all the stars.
Victor Hugo
A Sunday morning text message conversation from my girlfriend’s daughter, Michele…
MICHELE
I have to say it— happy Father’s Day to someone who genuinely FEELS like a father figure to me ❤ I love you!
SAVANNAH
Your love often leaves me speechless … and, this is one of those times. And, ironic since I spy my feminine “blond goddess” pic half a scroll up lol (referring to a blond-haired pic I sent her the previous week for #SavannahStarbucksSunday)
MICHELE
You’re everything to me, technically – a mom, a dad, and everything in-between, no matter what!
SAVANNAH
I love you, Michele!
MICHELE
i probably should’ve said happy Mother’s Day on Mother’s Day too, but I’m silly and didn’t think of it… regardless the thought is still there ❤
SAVANNAH
I think Mom deserves her day, without a beautiful dual-gender crossdressing man to steal the spotlight. I would have been, however, so touched had you sent those sentiments on Mother’s Day.
Wow!
I was floored to be recognized on Father’s Day. There are so many reasons to not have an expectation of celebration or gratitude on this day. First, I not her stepfather (by law) or her biological father. Also, I did not raise her from an early age like a proper father figure. She is a woman in her twenties of whom I have had the pleasure of knowing for over five years.
She is empathetic, compassionate, caring, loving, and always hopeful for a world and society. Where everyone is treated with equal respect. She is a dreamer and an optimist, in spite of many personal difficulties. She has had to overcome in her young life.
She is the youngest of three daughters, and always the one I wanted to share Savannah with the most. Over a year ago, she learned about Savannah by a careless text message accident on my part. But she was overwhelmingly supportive and started sending me makeup products. That she thought I would like to try. I have incorporated many of her color palettes into my routine, and think about her each time. I do a new application.
So, today, I wake up to several notifications on my phone. Text messages are not usually alerting me for anything, so I gravitated to it first… to read the beautiful sentiment you read above. To be told that I have become a positive influence in another’s life is such a wonderful feeling, especially when you don’t realize you have had any impact, whatsoever.
Then, for Michele to go further in her thinking where she apologies for not wishing me. A happy Mother’s Day goes to the core of how amazing this young woman is. In that single comment, she completely validated. Savannah as a living and breathing entity, celebrating my influence in her life as both a masculine and feminine spirit.
That is not to say that Michele has ever seen me as Savannah, in person. It is, also, not to say that I give her counsel in a slanted masculine. Or feminine depending on how I am dressed. Sure, I have decidedly perceived masculine and feminine traits for how to handle situations. I am logical and pragmatic. I am empathetic and understanding. I am sometimes an active listener and sometimes very reactive and emotional based on what I hear in the situation. You can decide on what traits you consider are defined as stereotypical male or female.
I have gratitude for this young woman. I celebrate her positive spirit and her terminal optimism. All the while—as I have forgotten all about it by letting it slip into the vague notions in the back of my mind. Michele is celebrating both my male side and my Savannah side… in equal measure. She is the recipient, when needed, of all I have to offer in my support and love and appreciation. To know she thinks of me as a dad AND a spiritual mom is strict. A testament to the encouragement and understanding I offer her freely.
When you are authentic to who you are as a person, the confidence and self-assuredness radiates out to the people around you, especially those you hold most dear. Would I be as loved as Michele mentioned if I was still a slave to the darkness of the closet in my head and heart? Is her love conditional to the fact she is simply built to feel and declare that emotion more deeply than others around her? Maybe, we have just shed enough of the weight of our emotional shackles and bindings of expectations in order to tell the people we care for that they are cherished, important, and dear to our hearts.
